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Lists I’m Thinking of Writing about the Oscars
This is a week where it’s easy to be topical with all of the Oscar hoopla going on. There were so many hits and misses at this year’s telecast, I haven’t picked one list to write yet. And the nominees are:

1.
Top five things you could make out of Jennifer Lopez’s dress and still have enough material left for another dress.

2.
Top five times the technical director cut away to James Cameron when it wasn’t really appropriate to cut away to James Cameron.

3.
Top five times I got Queen Latifah and Mo’nique confused. Because I’m racist.

4.
Top five processed meat products my boyfriend compared Kate Winslet to in her breast-smushing, tube-top corset dress.

5.
Top five ways Kathryn Bigelow has come up with to answer the question “What’s it like to be a woman and win the best Directing Oscar?” as if she had been asked “Wow, what’s it like to win the best Directing Oscar?"

Shannon Corder is a screenwriter in LA and will totally get blacklisted for writing this column.

TOP FIVE Hall of Fame

Lily finally had her first apartment alone. The place was fabulous, naturally, but the breakfast nook, walk-in closet and balcony weren’t conversationalists. Fortunately, when Lily was half done with a carton of lo mein, Alison made good on her promise: a housewarming party Lily would never forget. Alison showed up with Lily’s favorite girls from her sorority days and a few bottles of wine, and Lily knew that with friends like hers, loneliness isn’t permanent.

Check out the newest editorial by Lynne Fort: Picture This: One Dater’s View On Profile Pictures

MOVING BOX BLUES

by Jen Leavey

TAKE YOUR PISS
A porcelain forest.
Submitted by J. Noyes

POTW Mystery Vault

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YO, MEMBERS
(March 11, 2010)

* "Picture This: One Dater’s View On Profile Pictures" By Jen Leavey

* Last Week's TOP FIVE: Apologies Akio Toyoda Has Yet to Make

* Missed last week's Picture of the Week (POTW)? You can find it in the POTW Mystery Vault

* Top 5's looking for new listmakers. Wanna take a stab at it? Email Anna at anna.christopher@lilydidit.com!


		ARIES Instead of being pissy about your co-worker's or friend's success, embrace it. Green is not a flattering color for you.				TAURUS Hey Worrywart! Chillax and have a glass of wine. You can't predict the future any better than me. Wait... oops...
		GEMINI Be the anti-Chile. No big shake-ups this week. You (and Chile) need some stability.				CANCER Go ahead and own knowing your stoner ex-boyfriend is delusional, but you can't claim you didn't think it was cute at first.
		LEO Your BF has no idea how good that DVF trench is going to look on you, so, yes, you can ignore his super silly "you can't afford that" argument.				VIRGO You feel generous this week. Something must be wrong.
		LIBRA You have to go out at night and interact with others now that "I'm watching the Olympics" is no longer a viable excuse.				SCORPIO Finally the stars have aligned and revealed to you the perfect way to spend that $100,000 you've been letting collect dust: your very own Sumatran tiger!
		SAGITTARIUS Don't spend all your money in one place... like iTunes.				CAPRICORN Your mental stamina is phenomenal this week. Keep training, Jessica Simpson's new show "Price of Beauty" is only two weeks away.
		AQUARIUS Your rising moon is in your sixth house, which means you will watch the Oscars on Sunday night.				PISCES Mum's the word, nerd.

by Chris Landa