HALL OF FAME
Top 5 Ideas for Kate Gosselin’s Next Show
Last Monday, Kate Gosselin’s reality TV show Kate Plus 8 aired its finale. When asked about her future, Kate speculated that she’s probably only qualified to be on TV shows. No one wants those eight little darlings to go hungry or, heaven forbid, live out their formative years without America watching, so let's hope Kate will consider some of these spin-off ideas.
1. The Gosselin Gaggle.
On this Bachelorette-style dating show, eligible bachelors vie to replace Jon as the man in Kate's life. The catch? To be eligible, a suitor must be a single father with no fewer than eight children. Whether adopted kids qualify is up for discussion. (Alternate title: Kate Plus 8 Plus Another Guy Plus His Own 8).
2. The Rodeo.
In this low-key, down-to-earth series set on a ranch in rural Pennsylvania, Kate and her eight children care for horses with emotional problems. Being away from all the paparazzi and the tabloids would give Kate a chance to recharge and reflect on what went wrong with Jon. Plus, those kids are experienced at mucking up shit. Three possible horse co-stars: Quicksilver (traumatized), Blackjack (commitment issues), and Tumbleweed (asshole).
3. Kate Talks.
Every day, Kate invites a guest to discuss one of the follow topics with her: news, politics, sports, music, science, entertainment, art, movies, journalism, kids and parenting, dogs, US foreign policy, woman issues, investments, law, health, moms, fireplaces, cars & transportation, education, Kate’s opinions on things, the justice system, antique furniture, issues, space explorations, etiquette, the evolving role of law enforcement in the 21st century, LARPing, or snakes. Anything, really.
4. Kate's Smarter Than You Think.
Kate hosts this historical documentary series that focuses on the European colonization of the African continent how it shaped modern-day Africa, while simultaneously weaving in the story of Roger Casement, who fought against the Belgian-Congo rubber trade, which was responsible for some of the worst atrocities of the 20th century.
5. Kate! Irate!
A reality show wherein producers devise several scenarios intended to make Kate angry so she will yell for your amusement. When she doesn’t get mad enough, someone lets her kids in the room with her.
Jim Rowley is a writer living in Los Angeles.
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