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YO, MEMBERS
(September 6, 2010)

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TOP FIVE
Things Sarah Palin HATES
By Laurel Felt

hailed by some as all that is good and decent and folksy, derided by others as the high-haired antichrist, Sarah Palin's name is sure on everyone's lips (and so is lipstick, evidently, but only if you're pretending to be something you're not, or an uppity sexist whose words must be mangled).

1. Polar Bears
let's be honest: they are pretty stupid. if they can't figure out how to swim in the new warm world that we melted, well, that's fewer mouths to feed. ha! consider that budget - BALANCED.

2. Sex Ed
why bother when abstinence only is soooooo effective?

3. Civil Liberties
librarians who refuse to ban a book? state troopers who dare to divorce a sister? toast. (far kinder than the original plan: letting 'em run with the wolves and shooting 'em from the air.)

4. Free Wombs
wombs are asking, why does sarah palin hate us? she hates our freedoms -- our freedom of timing, our freedom of paternity, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other.

5. The Truth
-Palin said YES to the Bridge to Nowhere. -Palin DID take earmarks. -Obama authored TWO major ethics reform laws. -Obama will CUT taxes on the middle class. -Alaska does NOT have a gas pipeline. the truth is out there.

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