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YO, MEMBERS
(September 6, 2010)


* Show appreciation for your summer party hosts with our thanks and party time e-cards!

* Last Week's TOP FIVE: TOP FIVE BEACH BODIES IN HISTORY

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TOP FIVE
Ways to Tell You've Just Hit Rock Bottom


 
1. Priced to Sell
Everything in your apartment now has a mental price tag. First stop, Crossroads to take those Ugg Boots you’ve always hated to love. Last stop, mine your ovaries and sell your eggs. Why not? I mean at least you used the Uggs.
 
2. You Lie to Your Oldest Friends on Facebook
Thanks to FB, you and your high school best friend have been reunited. When she asks how you’re doing, you respond, "100% amazing!!!!!!" And add a :-) just in case she isn't convinced. She doesn't need to know the truth... and you don't need to be reminded of it.
 
3. You still need your parents
Yep, you're almost thirty, and your parents just sent you a Hallmark card with quaint drawing of an calico cat napping on the front. (yeah, you know the one) Inside is money for your car payment, a Target gift card and the inspirational message that reads, “And this too shall pass”.
 
4. The Closest Food Bank
You just tried to cover up the fact that you ate most of your roommate's Roasted Red Pepper Trader Joe’s Hummus by dedicating a solid ten minutes to smoothing out the top as if those six small scoops never happened.
 
5. Career Change
Jumbo's Clown Room Is Hiring You're considering becoming a stripper. Job requirement #1: Have a decent body. Ugh, of course. Brand new Top Five List from Ms. Dryden every Monday in June!


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